Thursday, February 10, 2011


...forgive us OUR sins, as we forgive those who sin AGAINST us.....

When was the last time you stopped to consider the meaning behind the Lord's Prayer? How many of us just "say" it out of life-long habit? Today those words brought me to tears and reminded me that they are so much more than words.

Yes, I've sinned. Lord knows I am no where near perfect. And, yes, people have sinned against me. The challenge I hand myself starting today, is learning how to forgive those who wronged me, betrayed my trust, and hurt me beyond comprehension. Gotta start I choose by beginning with 2 people specifically, and pray that I will find a place of forgiveness, and ultimately peace. I can't reach out to one yet, I'm just not there. I have reached out to the other, trying so desperately to understand. Sometimes it starts with listening with an open heart. Painful as that may be. 

But when the pain is so real and the reality so harsh, where does one begin? It's hard to even imagine myself feeling whole again. 

Here's what I do is short and in a SNAP, can change and never be the same. You can wake up one morning to a call telling you your brother has taken his own life. You can receive a call one afternoon telling you your mom (or aunt in my case) has died unexpectedly. You can go into the ER for a headache and come to find out 3 days later you've got Stage 4 Melanoma, and begin the fight of your life. Maybe it's not that significant....maybe you "wake up" one day to realize it's just not about you anymore. Whatever the only takes a.....   ***SNAP***  .....and it's all different, forever.

I know I can't and won't apologize for what I feel I was justified in saying - for what no one else was saying, especially when my "mama-bear" complex surfaced. I also know I'm human and a woman (who is, by genetics, "strong-minded")...and so that means learning to forgive may take a little longer. 

So, I guess, here goes...

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